Petaluma Syndrome

A syndrome that is a result of growing up in Petaluma, California. Symptoms include:

Having two or more (or in some cases all) of the following phases; Punk, crust punk, rockabilly, psychobilly, vegan, indie, hipster, hippie, metalhead, fail-goth, gay, bi, lesbian.
But never remaining any of these for more than a couple years.

Saying things like "I hate this little town, I'm moving to Portland."

Having parents that offer to support you, and a car, yet you ride a bicycle everywhere and eat food that was recovered from dumpsters to maintain "status." People from different cities will find that ironic. You won't understand why.

Throwing a shit-fit when someone else gets a haircut similar to yours, or dyes it the same color. This symptom is particularly prevalent in females. It is a serious threat to your uniqueness. You will complain for weeks, but eventually change your hairstyle out of pride.

Did you hear that Bobby DeSoto quit his job after high school? Yeah, I guess he got himself a mongrel road-dog and hopped a train to portland. He has a case of the Petaluma Syndrome.

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telecannabinesis

A phenomenon in which people who are high on Marijuana share mental wavelengths. This can manifest in many ways including but not limited to; a friend whistles or hums a song that you were just thinking about, says something aloud that you were just thinking, texts or calls you at the same moment that you were going to text or call them, happens to be smoking pot elsewhere at the same moment you are, or you and a friend say the same thing at the same time.

Although these phenomena do occur for people who are not under the influence of Marijuana, the frequency of these phenomena seem to increase for people who are.

TEXT MESSAGE:
Dude what are you doin?

-Just blazin' and listening to Derp by Herp&theDerps. This song is so amazing when you're high.

OMFG ARE YOU KIDDING? I'm doing the exact same thing! We've got telecannabinesis!

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