2020

The worst year. Ever.

It all began with fears of WW3, fires, Trump's impeachment, and Kobe Bryant's death. And then a worldwide pandemic came and ground the world to a halt, causing lockdowns to be enforced everywhere, cancelling or postponing all sporting events, school, and basically every other event that requires gatherings in order to enforce social distancing. That means no more Olympics and most classes/ceremonies/gatherings being held online on Zoom (or similar). COVID-19 has killed HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of people, infected millions, and absolutely devastated the economy, causing 1930s Depression-level unemployment and the greatest recession of our lifetimes. "Stay Home. Save Lives." is the mark of 2020.

On top of all that, there's been swarms of killer locusts, other kinds of natural disasters, and severe political unrest. Tensions with China, Iran, Russia, etc. are at an all time high. America is more divided than ever - the MAGA vs. Democrat rivalry plus the deaths of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, etc. and the resulting outrage is plunging the nation into civil unrest. And the election is a choice between two old incompetent white men in mental decline (but Jo Jorgensen is a good alternative). Democrats couldn't choose anyone worse than Biden, and Trump is well...Trump.

This trainwreck of a year should be forgotten by all history books going forward. If we survive to 2021, no one shall speak of this year...ever. again. And remember when we thought 2016 was bad?

History class in the year 2050:

Teacher - And class, that was it for 2019. Next lesson is on 2021, and get ready because it will be a huge one!
Student - Wait, why aren't you telling us about 2020?
Teacher - We don't speak of that year. Ever.
Student - Why not?
Teacher - Well... think of someone infected with a deadly virus (all alone in social isolation) taking the most massive dump ever, add vomit, maggots, and locusts to that pile of dump, and multiply the whole thing by social unrest, economic crisis, incompetent politicians, threats of war, as well as all the evil you can ever imagine, and there's your answer. You'll get PTSD if I dared to tell you more about that forbidden year.

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selfie-addict

Someone who is extremely obsessed and addicted to taking selfies. They're usually found taking selfies like every 5 minutes (or less) either with themselves or with their friends, brothers, and sisters. They also have a very decorated background so they can take the most awesome-looking selfies possible. The selfie-addict can post all their selfies on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, or other social media in an attempt for their selfies to get a whole bunch of likes and comments even though they're just doing it to say "look at me!" every single time. These guys are annoying and if you spot one in public, you probably won't go pass them without them saying "Hey, wanna take a fantastic selfie with me? It'll look awesome on Snapchat!!".

Jason posted brand new selfies every single minute on his Instagram, I had to un-follow him because of that! He's such a real selfie-addict!

A guy at my school named Tyler came up to me and said "Hey dude, let's take a selfie together? Shall we?! I've already taken selfies with about 20 other guys, and you're next!!" <-- another selfie-addicted guy

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Life

What you have if you're able to move, breathe, have consciousness, etc. It's about a total of 100 years filled with challenges, before you die. Most die before 100 though, but very few can survive longer (see Centenarian). It is a tough time when you can have so many challenges thrown at you. Failure to complete the below challenges might be caused by a neurological disorder, some other disease, disorder, or syndrome, or premature death. I'm guessing death is some sort of bonus with a prize afterwards (like heaven or afterlife, if you die in old age). If you're dead prematurely (like with suicide or another incident), you might just be reincarnated. I hope hell and eternal oblivion aren't real.

Succeeding at life 101
By age 2 , success is: Being able to walk and talk without help
By age 4, success is: Not having to wear diapers
By age 8, success is: Having friends
By age 12, success is: Contacting friends on your cell phone
By age 16, success is: Having a partner (girl/boyfriend)
By age 17, success is: Having a driver's license, having a job, and having your own money
By age 18, success is: Controlling your life, making own decisions
By age 19, success is: Living independently
By age 20, success is: Being able to have sex (can be reached before age 18 though)
By age 25, success is: Being involved in a career
By age 30, success is: Being married and having kids
By age 50, success is: Still being married and having kids
By age 52, success is: Still being involved in a career
By age 53, success is: Still being able to have sex
By age 60, success is: Still living independently
By age 63, success is: Still controlling your life, making own decisions
By age 65, success is: Still having a driver's license, having a job, and having your own money
By age 70, success is: Still having a partner
By age 74, success is: Still contacting friends on your cell phone
By age 75, success is: Still having friends
By age 80, success is: Still not being dead yet
By age 88, success is: Still not having to wear diapers
By age 92, success is: Still being able to walk and talk without help
By age 100, success is: STILL not being dead yet

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Emoji abuser

Someone who comments or texts with an excessive amount of emojis. Typically, they are annoying girls.

Alexis: 😍😘😜😂😘😍😆😝😭😜😊😍😱😭😂
Steve: You're such an emoji abuser!

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Wall

An acronym frequently used during Donald Trump's campaign:

Wetbacks
Are
Low
Life

The illegal immigrants met their fate at Donald Trump's wall.

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2022

A year in which crises have worsened, for the most part. The COVID-19 pandemic has alleviated with most of the restrictions finally going away, and some sense of pre-2020 "normalcy" has returned. However, other factors make it feel like we continue to drag ourselves through a perpetual state of crisis after crisis, and this feeling has not alleviated much since March 2020.

Inflation has upended our lives more than ever, and gas prices were insane especially around June. More and more people struggled to afford basic needs. Political tensions in the U.S. continued to simmer and it felt like we are sleepwalking towards a civil war. R.I.P. to Roe v. Wade, this year access to abortion has ended in many states. Many in Gen Z (my generation) felt it was more important to vote than ever this year due to all the crises, and most voted blue.

Russia invaded Ukraine and we were scared that it would evolve into WW3 due to Putin's nuclear threats. Ukraine has been devastated but at least it didn't evolve much beyond the two countries, even if others like the U.S. have taken sides without direct military involvement. It was also a year in which loads of famous deaths occurred, ranging from Queen Elizabeth II to Coolio, Olivia Newton-John, etc. Elizabeth II was a huge one as she was the only UK monarch most of us have ever known due to her insanely long reign, and now we have King Charles III to replace her. Lastly, this year we have reached 8 billion of us, as overpopulation fears grow.

A history class in a future better time (if there would even be better times):
- Teacher: Ok class, let's turn to the early 2020's in the history book. 2020 will give you PTSD so I'll just skip it. 2021 and 2022 were not much better, but I'll go over them anyway just to show all the crises everybody had to suffer though, many as a direct consequence of the year 2020.
- Students, by the end of class: Oh my god I wouldn't want to live through this. Those historical events sound... BAD. (students view the early 2020's then as we view the 1930's/40's depression/WWII era today)

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I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news

A phrase said before someone says something very unfortunate. If a guy says this to a lady or vice versa, they might be about to do an unexpected breakup because one of them did something that the other person REALLY didn't like, or it could be used in any situation where bad news just needs to be given. For example, it could also be said when a big and exciting event is about to end or just before a very life-changing event that might possibly ruin the other guy's life forever.

Guy 1: I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the year that you really liked and wanted to last forever, 2014, is coming to a close in a few days! So sorry dude, but every single old thing has to come to an end!

Guy 2: Really? But I hope 2015 will also be awesome!

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