Aretard

(ahr-tard) A portmanteau of “alpha” and “retard”

(1) The leader of a group of mentally retarded individuals. Usually, not the smartest of the group of retards, but rather the most outgoing, charismatic, confident or loudest of the retard group, that emerges as the leader.
(2) A person who exhibits both the characteristic stupidity and confidence of a typical aretard (1).

My aretard co-worker grandly explained that the upcoming eclipse would occur when America went in front of the moon, blocking our (Australia’s) view of it.