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The discovery of your penis being covered with red and green warts in the morning.
Steve: "Oh my God! Why is my dick all messed up!?"
Jan: "Surprise! Merry Christmas Dick!"
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The act of giving a hand-job without the use of spit or lube.
Bob: "How did it go last night?"
Pete: "Could've gone better. She gave me a Richard Nixon."
Bob: "Oh Shit. So your shit's all raw?"
Pete: "Yep!"
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