Fuck Bumper

Spare Tire, Beer Gut or Muffin Top grown specifically to save your partner from trauma during intercourse. Can be ambi-sextrous.

Dude 1: "Bro? That's quite the belly you're getting on you."

Dude 2: "Aww this? That's my fuck bumper. The wife was complaining of pain in her spleen. I figured I better add some cushion to my pushin'"

-Alt.
Girl 1: Hey girl? Are those new Jeggings?
Girl 2: I've had these jeans for 5 years! But I have to tell you.. My spleen's been hurtin' so much that I had to grow out my Fuck Bumper a bit. My new guy has a real Thigh Slapper on him.

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