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Random
An obviously false excuse for one's penis either with regard to (size, performance, appearance, etc.)
Jenn: "Wow, now that's a small dick!"
Eric: "No, it's just cold, haven't you heard of shrinkage?"
Jenn: "It's the middle of summer and the air conditioner is broken, so..."
Eric: "I think the lighting must be making it look smaller..."
Jenn: "All I hear is dickscuse after dickscuse, little ass babydick having motherfucker! You should just own your tiny dingaling and move on."
Eric: "OK, fine, I have a small dick. Happy?"
The very rare category of man or woman who prefers or who is sexually attracted to very small penises, in other words the complete opposite of a typical size queen.
Darrell: "Well, Kelly broke up with me. I guess it was just a matter of time..."
Kenny: "That sucks dude. Was it because of your unusually tiny penis again?"
Darrell: "Yeah, that's like the eighth time this has happened to me. But I am holding out hope that somewhere out their lies my micropeen queen."
Kenny: "Good luck man."
14π 1π
1. Supposedly a penis which is wider than it is long.
2. Since the first definition is almost physically impossible, or at least extremely improbable, a penis which is short and thick.
1. Jamie: "Wow, his dick was three inches long and four inches wide. It was literally impossible to have sex with him. it was a true CHODE."
2. "The sex was actually really good. His cock was really short but it was so thick, he really stimulated the sides of my pussy! I'm actually sore today. A chode can definitely be a good thing, believe it or not."
51π 30π
A nub of a penis so small that it resembles a button on a fur coat (the fur coat being the pubes).
Billy: "Check it out, I've been using eXtenze all week, and now I'm HUNG!"
Suzie: "Sure, hung like a little pink button on a fur coat. Don't you know that shit doesn't worK?"
20π 1π
A cock which is both short and thin, presumably while erect. Use of the term is usually accompanied by the holding up of the pinky finger, so as to compare it with the alleged pinky winky.
Johnny: "Would you like to go on a second date with me?"
Suzie: "I would, but I don't think we're compatible."
Johnny: "What?!? What was it specifically, if you don'y mind my asking?"
Suzie: "It's not you! It's just that you have, well, a pinky winky."
Johnny: "Ouch! You didn't have to insult me."
Suzie: "What? That's a specific term. Look it up on Urban Dictionary. It means a short, thin cock."
Johnny: "Oh, well I knew it was short, but I always thought it was pretty thick..."
Suzie: "It's actually both the thinnest and the shortest pinky winky I have ever observed in person. And for that I thank you sir!"
Johnny: "I really hate you right now."
1. A micropenis either in its flaccid state or with the inability to achieve an erection.
2. A penis which is really small, resembling a micropenis while in a flaccid state but which may or may not be small, or, may or may not be a literal micropenis in its erect state.
1. "He had a micro soft dick - Not only was it a micropenis but he could never even get it hard. It was basically a clit."
2. Suzie (walks in on Johnny changing) : "Wow, your dick is tiny! You must have a micropenis!"
Johnny: "No, it is a 'micro soft dick'. Look it up on Urban Dictionary! That means it's really tiny when it's soft but it might not be when it gets erect!"
Suzie: "Might not be? That's not very reassuring, hehe."
8π 3π
The type of dude who has a tiny penis but constantly insinuates and says outright that he has a huge penis, and showing people that he has Magnum condoms. Everyone instantly realizes what he's doing and how small he must be, and just feels sorry for him in silence until he becomes unbearable, at which time he is confronted about how he must have a micropenis and is compensating for this. Symptoms include wearing a backwards Monster energy drink baseball cap and sleeveless shirts, tribal tattoos which belong to no particular tribe, flashy vehicles, and the use of urban slang by a Caucasian of upper middle class suburban background. Anyone who "accidentally" drops Magnum condoms especially is clearly a MagNub.
Cindy kind of liked Jake until after work he put on that sleeveless shirt and backwards Monster energy drink baseball cap. After that he turned into another person. When he went to grab a lighter and accidentally dropped six Magnum condoms on Cindy's lap, then said "Oops!" and winked, she realized he was probably a MagNub. At first she just smiled and silently felt sorry for him, but a few big dick jokes later she knew what she must do. She had him pull over his Hummer so he could show her his supposedly huge dick, but then after a long awkward silence with a pathetic look on his face, Jake pulled down his baggy pants to reveal what looked like a button on a fur coat, and Cindy then pulled out her new iPhone and quickly snapped a pic of his micro soft dick. He got mad and protested that it was a grower, not a shower, but she told him to prove it, or else she would post the picture on various social media sites. When he finally achieved a hardon he was still only about 2 inches long and the width of a roll of pennies. To amuse herself Cindy unrolled one of Jake's Magnum condoms and took a picture of it rolled out next to Jake's inprobably small micropenis. Now Jake has to pay Cindy $100 weekly to prevent her from revealing his "little secret" online, not suspecting that everyone already realizes how small he is from his behavior.