Lame-Statusism

Lame-statusism is defined as a disease. As a disease, lame-statusism has a clear beginning, middle, end, and prognosis. It can also be cured under proper treatment. If you or someone you know suffers from Lame Statusism, don't despair. Treatment and help is available.

Classic Symptoms
There is a huge list of common symptoms associated with lame statuses. Even if you don't Facebook, chances are that you have heard some of them. Listed below are some of the important symptoms of lame-statusism. The important signs of lame-statusism are: Facebooking alone, making or finding excuses to update your status, daily or frequent Facebooking needed to function, inability to reduce or stop updating your status, violent episodes associated with Facebooking, Facebooking secretly, becoming angry when confronted about your lame status updates, poor eating habits or lack of appetite, failure to care for physical appearance, trembling in the morning or body tremors, high levels of physical anxiety, vomiting, headaches, concentration difficulties, memory problems, and sleeping for long periods of time.

It was clear he had a bad case of Lame-Statusism when he made the update: "My Back Itches"

Short Term
Short term physical effects of lame status updates are common to most people, even if you do not Facebook. Lame-statusolics deal with these physical symptoms with each bout of Facebooking. These symptoms are lowered inhibitions, poor coordination, blackouts and loss of memory, nausea sickness, hangovers and headaches, stupor, and coma.

Long-term Effects
Facebooking also has long term bodily effects as well including damage to the liver, heart, brain and other vital organs. Effects of lame statuses can be so pronounced on the brain that they can induce dementia or psychosis. For these reasons alone it is important to Facebook in moderation.

Getting Help
If you or someone you know if suffering with lame-statusism, please seek treatment. Facebook has never and will never make any problems you are facing better or miraculously go away. Please seek treatment for the sake of your sanity, body, spirit and loved ones.

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