Cullenism

Cullenism was once a huge fanbase cult spanning to at least 25 million people. It is defined as the polytheistic religion by which the characters of Twilight are gods, Stephanie Meyer is a sort of Jesus figure or more of a prophet, that the books are the new Bible, and that if you believe with all of your heart, you will one day go to heaven where you can orgasm over Edward Cullen. The most important factor of Cullenists is that they believe the world of Twilight to be real.

Their tenets, simplified, are

1. Edward and the rest of the Twilight characters are real.

2. Stephenie Meyer is the (or one of the) best author(s).

3. The twilight series should be worshiped.

4. If you are good in life, you will be bless with eternity with the Cullens. If you are bad in life, you will be sent to James’ cave.

Religion is similar to the fanbase in Korea involving their dictator, except the Cullenists number more and are more likely to freak out Kim-Jong Il. Cullenism is also much more dangerous of a cult than perhaps every cult known to man and the Legion.

Bethany accidentally let loose from her lips the fact that she doesn't think Twilight is so cool. The comment was heard by rabid, raging members of the Cullenism religion. Bethany was never heard from again.

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