Guiche

The bit between a man's balls and his arse-hole.

After excretion, wipe from front to back, in order to avoid soiling of the guiche.

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spankathon

n. A long spank

"I spanked for a long time. It was almost a Spankathon."

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arsewinch

n. colloquialism. expletive. see also spankathon. butthinge. annular ring shank

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beer scooter

(extra credit to Dogfish)n. The remarkably quick method by which you get home after a night out on the piss, forcing you to remark you had an indelible mode of transport. (N.b. please also be aware of 'beer scooter with a puncture' which is a much slower form of transport, where you start out with speedy intentions; but spend the majority of the night dragging extra equipment attached to your legs)

"How did you get home Sebastian?"

"On a beer scooter"

"Oh"

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Gandalf's beard

n. see wizard's beard

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beer muffs

n. Mystical auratory additions which remove the necessity for sensiant conversation, and replace any understanding of people speaking to you with a garble mess, to which a derogatory response is necessitated by being stunningly pissed.

"Now, Frank, the oven's on and I'm off out with the girls; remember to feed the baby, check on the dinner and pay the car tax. Okay?"

"I FECKIN' LARVE YOOO, YOOO FACKIN' SEXY MINX"

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beer coat

(extra credit for dogfish)n. the invisible force that keeps you warm, irrelevant of the external temperature, after consuming vast amounts of alchoholic liquid refreshment...see also beer goggles beer muffs mystery taxi beer scooter

"Are you coming with us in the taxi quentin? It's frightfully nippy out" "Fackin tennn notes for a fackin ride home,, fack offff,,my beer coat'll keep me warm you fackin toffs"

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