dirty racoon

This is when you take your girlfriend outside and roll her around in the mud ... You finish by giving her two black eyes and knocking over her thrash cans

"Cindy was driving me nuts last night while I was trying to watch the game so I took her outside and gave her an dirty racoon"

56👍 17👎

Seal clubbing

The act of heading to the club with the sole purpose of getting a fat chick drunk and then taking her home and banging the shit out of her

RANDY: "hey bill, What are you doing tonight ?" BILL: "me and the guys from work are heading out to do some seal clubbing tonight "

36👍 115👎

Thinking sauce

This is produced when you blow a massive load on your girlfriends forehead

"Fuck Stacey Forgot to pick me up a case of beer on the way home ... I'm gonna have to dump a load of thinking sauce on her head tonight "

Polish helicopter

After consuming 10-15 beers you hang yourself naked upside down from the ceiling fan .. You then pee continuously till you become dizzy and fall to the floor ....a somewhat high risk maneuver so some form of head protection is usually advised when performing this act

PHIL: "hey Larry do you and Cindy want to come over for dinner tonight?"..... LARRY:" probably not she's not talking to me since I pissed all over her couches and fell through her glass coffee table doing the polish helicopter last night

25👍 1👎

Stupid fucking east Indian

this is an east Indian who is fucking stupid… they can be found in the monkey cage at your local zoo sitting under a tree in the shade eating bananas.....there have also been numerous unconfirmed sightings of them building houses in Canada

"hey Larry less smoke a couple of joints and go to the zoo and feed the stupid fucking East Indians"

21👍 7👎

Sausage punch

This is when you apply to much lube when masturbating resulting in loosing grip of your cock and having your fist close up and fly into your face unexpectedly

Bill: "hey tom what happened to your nose?" Tom: "I was rubbing one out in front of the computer last night and gave myself such a hard sausage punch I think I broke my fucking nose !!"

Kung fu panda

When you and your buddies drink a ton of beer and snort a ridiculous amount of cocaine .. You then sneak into the zoo at night and attack the panda bears with various martial arts moves

Tom: hey what happened to you guys last night Dave: dude!.. We got all wasted and got arrested doing the Kung fu panda

74👍 13👎