African swallow

Non-migratory bird that can carry coconuts as far north as Mercia, that is if they were inclined to do so.

"It could be carried by an African swallow!"

209👍 62👎

don't judge me

What I usually have to say when I get drunk in the middle of the day and watch Blues Clues.

Roommate: "What the..?"
Me: "Don't judge me!"

145👍 29👎

John Constantine

Star character of the Hellblazer series in the Vertigo imprint of DC comics, John Constantine is a British magus and one of the most important and powerful magicians on earth. Very cunning and decietful, his actions are usually selfish and have cost several of his friends thier lives. Has bumped heads with both demonic and angelic forces, not to mention pagan gods and entities. Also a chain smoker.
Not to be confused with his one-dimensional, Americanized and dark haired Keanu Reeves counterpart.

Jo: "Are you Constantine?"
John Constantine: "Yeah."
Jo: "You're a prick."
John Constantine: "Me secret's out then."

68👍 10👎

1st and 1st

1st St. and 1st Avenue, so called: "nexus of the universe" located by the village down in New York City. Term coined by Cosmo Kramer when he got lost in the Lower East Side.

"Where are you?"
"I'm at 1st and 1st ... wait a minute a street can't intersect with itself... I must be at the nexus of the universe!!!"

83👍 8👎

european swallow

Migratory birds who can carry coconuts but need to do it in pairs while tied to the coconut in a line.

"Maybe two (european swallows) carrying it on a line,"
"What!? Held under the dorcel guiding feathers!?"
"Why not?!"

68👍 22👎