Old Leather Arse

Old Leather Arse was a fictional person who fell off a London bus and was popularised in the expression about not having done something for ages.

“I haven’t been down there since Old Leather Arse fell off the bus”

monkey arse

When your bumhole is bright red and very sore/lacerated from excessive bouts of wiping.

Oh blimey, I wish I hadn’t had that vindaloo. I’ve got a terrible case of monkey arse.

Believed to have been forst coined by Ed Elliot in a Wetherspoons in Exeter. ‘I can’t eat that. I’ve got a terrible case of monkey arse.’

sweating like a bollock

Feeling extremely hot, typically in high summer when weather is particularly oppressive.

“I’m sweating like a bollock”