Kiss the Jesus

Catholic Church code phrase used by Priests whilst in the confessional instructing the unwary confessee to "Kiss the Jesus." This is always accompanied by the sound of a zipper coming down in a rapid manner and a loud, "BOING-ing" sound as the erect penis of the Priest, at the sight of a ten year old boy, pops out of his Cassock.

Gerald, Ten Year Old Boy: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession."

Catholic Priest: "Say five Our Fathers and One Hail Mary and KISS THE JESUS."

<zip, BOING, followed by smooching noises>

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The Brain Trust

A collective group of people, usually female, who believe they know everything and cannot learn anything from anyone else. Their decisions are routinely rife with bullshit and almost always based on incorrect assumptions and inuendo.

They are ALWAYS right and ALWAYS have to go to another source, frequently a male in their sphere of influence, to bail them out once they Fuck Up!!!!

"Paige/NaNa": "I am telling you, I know what I am talking about!"

"April/Heather": "I agree!!"

<wrong occurence, money blown, accident happens>

Trey to Eric: "The fucking Brain Trust is at it again!" "Watch, here comes the phone call."

<phone rings>

Trey/Eric: "Hello."

Brain Trust: "Can you help me?" "Remember when we were talking the other day?" "Well, how do I bail someone out of Jail?"

T&E sigh.........

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D-town

D-town. The blissful state of Divorce. When one has managed to get the monkey off of his back, he has entered D-Town.

Also, accompanied by a piece of paper for certification, i.e. Divorce Decree.

"Man, am I glad I went to D-Town." "That bitch was HELL!"

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Dorsal Fin

The extremely large protruberence which preceeds an "Evil Fat Man" upon entering a room, attempting a menage a trois, or just generally walking around.

See also, Beer Gut, Dunlop Disease, or Spare Tire.

"Damn, did you see the Dorsal Fin on that Evil Fat Man?!?"

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uke

Alternative word to describe a Martial Arts partner, or attacker, who is the recipient of the technique to be practiced or attempted.

Also, can be the problem child from the class, i.e. doubting Thomas, to be used for an example to train them mentally. The Demonstratee.

"Ok, I need volunteer to show this technique. Ah, Gerald, come on up here!"

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Stomp and puff

Police jargon used for the means to render CPR to any criminal individual, or accident victim depending on their looks, after a life threatening event brings about their demise.

Stomp and Puff is rendered at a distance of 5-6 feet from the "problem" and is accomplished by stomping on the ground as close to the "person" as that distance allows and blowing air at them from the same distance.

A common quote which goes along with this action is usually, "Damn, you don't look like you are going to make it!"

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sweetums

A male who has no balls, self-respect, or guts. One who is dominated by some female, normally a buffarilla or beefalodon, who can't do anything without her permission or guidance.

The reverse of a male from Gorean Society.

"Milhous": "May I go to poker night tonight honey?"

The buffarilla: "Get your ass back in here and fold my "HUGE" panties!"

"Milhous": "yes dear......."

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