Suburban Stuntman

A middle-aged man who thinks and acts as if they are a tough, bass-ass, rugged warrior when in fact they are living the mildest and safest possible lifestyle in a zero-crime suburban neighborhood, where the greatest danger is a bird pooping on their car.

Mark: “Check out Tom in his black jacked-up Jeep, 3 day stubble beard, and mean glare. He looks like a cross between Dirty Harry and Chuck Norris on his way to a battle.”

Steve: “Out here? Tom thinks he's tough but he's nothing more than a suburban stuntman. He won't even drive in to the city.”

cooper trooper

A hardcore fan of Alice Cooper.

Bryan is a total Cooper Trooper. He's got all of Alice Cooper's albums, many on vinyl.

12👍 6👎

Dink Trout

Voice of the King of Hearts in Disney's Alice in Wonderland.

stoner #1: Dink Trout? What's that, something to do with a penis and a fish?

stoner #2: No he's was the shrimpy little King of Hearts in that trippy cartoon.

2👍 2👎

funk butt

The paranoid feeling you get while very stoned that you are walking funny, or that your posture is a little awkward.

Stoner 1: "Hey man, why don't you, uh, just walk across the room and, like, get it?"
Stoner 2: "Aw man, I huh, don't want that hot babe to see me walk. I huh, got funk butt real bad."
Stoner 1: (uncontrollable giggling)

4👍 4👎

four finger spread

The resulting spray between your fingers when you vomit in public and try to hold it back with one hand.

Hugh: "I heard Chuck puked in the middle of the bar last night."
Ralph: "Yeah, he did a four finger spread over some people's table."

10👍 8👎