DeVostated

That sinking feeling you get when you realize institutions of higher education are returning to a primarily academic mission, and extraneous regulations meant to engineer radical progressive social policy are being stripped away, leaving you to make, and be responsible for, your own decisions.

Now that insert college name here has been DeVostated, I guess I'll have to think twice before I drink myself half blind and get passed around like a bottle of Fireball at this weekend's Frat parties.

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bowl snake

A long, continuous turd that coils at least 360 degrees around the toilet bowl like a rattlesnake poised to strike.

Extra credit given if the deposit is more than one full circumference in length, if one end actually breaks the surface of the water, and/or if the opposite end is "pebbled" to resemble rattles.

No accompanying floaters or segmentation must be present.

Takes at least two flushes to fully rid the bowl of its vile magnificence. A plumber's absolute nightmare.

You: Dude! That is one gargantuan bowl snake you left . . . didn't your parents ever teach you to flush?

Roommate: I did flush! Twice! That is one tenacious bowl snake!

You (handing Roommate the plunger): You know what to do.

Roommate (handing You the brush): Cover me! I'm going in!

chronon

Quantum time; the smallest discernible unit of time.

The fastest possible rate of thought is one psychon per chronon.

psychon

The smallest, most basic unit of thought, analogous to the atom in matter. From "Gulf" by Robert A. Heinlein (in _Assignment in Eternity_)

The fastest possible rate of thought is one psychon per chronon.

hookerized

Craigslist term for a phone number composed of numeric digits and spelled-out numbers. Many CL posters/spammers use this technique:

- to avoid autodialers,

- to prevent harvesting / resale of their phone numbers,

- to make it more difficult for flaggers to find their multiple ads by searching on their phone number.

Origin: Supposedly, prostitutes who use CL to advertise in multiple cities or spam / overpost in one location originated the technique.

Hookerized CL post: For a good time, call Jenny: 8 (six) (seven) - 5 (three) 0 (nine). (867-5309)

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battle apple

A thug / gang weapon resembling a mace. Euphemism for the penis, referenced in the song "Josie" by Steely Dan ("We're gonna shine up the battle apple . . .")

"Jo would you love to scrapple
She'll never say no
Shine up the battle apple
We'll shake 'em all down tonight
We're gonna mix in the street . . ."

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