Labour

1) The only Party in the history of the United Kingdom to have single-handedly wrecked the economy. Twice. And started illegal war. Twice.
Elected into power in a landslide election in 1997, lead by Tony Blair, and then quickly set about laying waste to manufacturing. Went to war in 2001, the War on Terror (the first ever war to be waged upon an abstract noun), later followed by the 2003 Invasion of Iraq.
Pursued pseudo-Conservative policies interspersed with fantastical socialism, both of which usually end up failing.
Famed for woeful management of the country, and the economy. Work on the pretences of capitalist-friendliness, while overtaxing and regulating the private sector, and generally receiving dollops of hatred from business leaders.
Leaders have connections to Marxism (Alistair Darling) and Communism (Peter Mandelson), both of which condescending lecture the right wing press and business leaders on how to run the country.
Hell bent on achieving equality, even though to achieve such a thing would mean an end to aspiration and result in the ultimate downfall of the British economy.
Fighting the General Election of 2010 on the principles of fairness:- so long as you consider fairness to be a wrecked economy, no aspiration and authoritarian surveillance, social breakdown and short-sighted political gain. Have an irrational hatred of Conservatives and the rich
2) -ite: Perjorative term for an otherwise level headed individual.

You stupid Labourite! Go munch some lentils, ya hippie.

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Liberal Democrats

The Party of the United Kingdom whose policies include:

<insert policies here>

An whose ideology is generally considered to be <ideology>. They care with great conviction about <section of society>, and have plans to scrap most of the nation's defences. They also have plans to raise taxes on... pretty much everyone.

Scientists have studied the Liberal Democrat Party for a number of years, and, after much investigation, have concluded that it's a bit like Labour, except, worse.

I'm part of the Liberal Democrats, and I'm going to sit on the fence and just hope that no one attacks Britain. If they do, I can wave my socialist flag at them paid for with lots of tax rises.

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