Kumbaya Jerk

The act of standing in a circle with a number of other fellow jerkers, each tenderly stimulating the penis of the gentleman to their right while singing as many verses of kumbaya as possible before ejaculating about three teaspoons of peace and love all over the floor. At this point, it's useful to have a shamwow on hand to clean up.

Overall, this is just a great way to spice up those weekly spiritual retreats that are in danger of becoming "too vanilla" (i.e. spiritually frustrating).

Whilst the left hand is free, feel free to express yourself. Maybe tickle an asshole or two, or perhaps you could fondle someone's scrotum. Don't be shy, really explore yourselves and each other, and don't forget to have fun.

"Hey guys, I need my consciousness raised, along with something else - let's do a kumbaya jerk!"

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Wisconsin Taco

Using Velveeta as lubricant

I was cooking with Barbara last night, I bent her over and gave her a Wisconsin Taco

Creme Puff

Closely related to the basic bitch, a creme puff is a young woman characterized by a complete lack of ambition, originality, or any outstanding qualities. Like a real creme puff, she is sweet yet full of air and lacks any kind of substance - what you see on the outside is what you get on the inside. Though not usually fat, the creme puff is at least “soft” and wears clothes and makeup that make her resemble a powdered pastry. Instead of living her own life, the creme puff exists by being like everyone else. “Nice” but excruciatingly boring, they are born without the capacity for independent thought and their pulses never exceed that of an elderly desert tortoise. Drawn to jobs where they can avoid making any of their own decisions, creme puffs are most comfortable as nurse’s assistants, teacher’s assistants (or any other kind of assistant), secretaries, or waitresses. In her free time, the creme puff can be found spending 56% of her paycheck at Bath and Body Works, watching reruns of The Bachelorette, eating lowfat strawberry yogurt, and spending 2 hours getting ready to go literally anywhere. Like a barnacle, the creme puff latches on to certain people, because in fact she would utterly shut down if she were forced to be by herself for even ten minutes. the creme puff will most often tiptoe through the years depending emotionally and financially on her boyfriend/husband, and then die having never taken any risks or made any kind of impact on the world.

“I just went on a date with Lindsey, and I had more fun staring at the wall behind her”
“Sounds like a creme puff”

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