jane hathaway

A Jane Hathway, as reference in Archer Season 1, Episode 10, is when your lover slaps you across the face with a wet salmon, spills its guts on the floor, dances a jig on the guts, and then vomits on your chest, all in a sexually provocative manner.

Dude, swear to God, she gave me a Jane Hathaway right on my chest.
- Office Coworker in Archer.

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emergency bacon

This is bacon which is hidden from normal usage such that, in the event of a bad day, a party, or a zombie apocalypse, it is readily available to save the day and improve morale. Usually this is kept in a separate freezer apart from the one in your kitchen. It can also be hidden in the main freezer using grocery bags, or by hiding down at the bottom where it is hard to reach. The end goal is that the bacon is hidden and forgotten from normal usage but, when you really need it, you remember it is there and can still have bacon.
This also can lead to having to double up on grocery purchases of bacon to replenish your normal supply, plus the emergency bacon ration.

"Oh man, I've had a rough day at work, and just need some bacon to cheer me up."
"But we're out, we used up our bacon on Saturday with a big breakfast, and I haven't had time to grocery shop".
"Wait! We still have the emergency bacon, let's open that up!"

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