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New Jersey

America's hairy, hemorrhoid-ridden asshole.

We're all embarrassed it's there, and we don't like to talk about. But we have to live with the fact it's just... there.

Douchebag from New Jersey: "Nah, Jersey's fucking great. Represent! We got 7-11's and, uh... I think Kevin Smith was born here! It's just jelly New Yorkers who hate us! We're fucking kings!"
Normal Human Being: "I literally just watched you scream and threaten to punch some kid in the face because she wouldn't loan you $10 for a pack of Salems and a can of Milwaukee's Best."

by TaxiFred June 15, 2017

10👍 15👎


Foodie

A fictional personality trait that boring people use to feel special. They've decided that pretending to like food more than everyone else makes them super-duper cool.

They'll usually try to make bold claims, but it's all bullshit. No, you don't have a refined palate... you just ate three or four things you haven't tried before. No, eating for pleasure isn't something that makes you unique... everyone does that... it's why the fucking snack industry exists. And no, you don't possess uncommon knowledge about food... you just watched some Gordon Ramsay videos on YouTube.

Sorry, but being a foodie isn't a real thing. It just isn't. Grow up and develop a real personality.

Tammy: "I had such an amazing dinner! I'm such a foodie!"

Andrew: "You had microwave Swedish meatballs and a Nutty Buddy that's been sitting in your freezer for four years.

Shut the hell up."

by TaxiFred March 2, 2022

13👍 16👎


five-dollar word

Unnecessarily complicated or pretentious words that smug assholes use to assert their perceived intellectual "superiority."

Brad: "Frankly, the film's quality was substandard at best, leading to an inherent dissociation and disconnect to myself as a paying audience member. It was almost insolent in its pandering. Thus, I can only describe the experience in viewing the film as one of a cataclysmic nature."

Tina: "So, you're saying you didn't like the film. What's with all the five-dollar words?"

Brad: "That statement is a gross oversimplification of my feelings regarding what should be a work of art. I'm merely trying to open and nurture a dialog , so that we may enjoy eachother's company in the spirit of natural, healthy debate."

Tine: "You're just trying to impress me and get in my pants, aren't you? Ain't happening."

Brad: "Well... shit."

by TaxiFred September 1, 2016

76👍 34👎


90's Kid

1. Predominately a term to describe someone who spent a majority of their pre-adolescent childhood in the 1990's. The sweet spot for this definition is people born between the mid-to-late 80's and early 90's. It is often used as a warm, comforting label. This use of the term is also often exploited as a buzz word in clickbait articles, which are written to appeal to the nostalgia of the reader.

2. The term has also more recently been co-opted by slightly younger individuals, and can more broadly be applied to anyone born in the 1990's. (Though people who follow the first definition often disagree with this use of the term.)

1. Greg was born in 1988, and considered himself a real 90's kid. He still has his original Terminator 2 action figures, and used to eat Dunkaroos while watching new episodes of "Batman: The Animated Series" when he was a kid.

2. Steve considered himself a 90's kid because he was born in 1997. Greg did not agree with this, and thought Steve should be considered a "2000's kid," as that's when Steve spent the majority of his childhood.

by TaxiFred January 15, 2020

46👍 19👎


Yahoo Answers

Supposedly a question-and-answer site. Supposedly.

It's really just basically a breeding ground for 14-year-old fucktards who troll every-other question with old meme references and sarcastic quips, cousinfucker right wingnuts and other assorted fucktards who for some reason never get flagged by the shit moderation. But god fucking forbid you so much as sneeze while looking at the site, or else you'll get flagged and in trouble.

"Well, I tried to go to Yahoo Answers to see if anyone knew how to solve the problem with my laptop, but the only responses I got were a 'Dicks out for Harambe!', 'Call 911!' and 'Only the godless, loony left Jews use laptops.'"

by TaxiFred February 28, 2017

11👍 16👎


Hack Snyder

Slang for someone, usually a filmmaker and especially a director, who makes boring, shitty products that appear to be meaningful on the surface... but are actually shallower than a fucking kiddie pool.

Named for the esteemed director who somehow fucked up a Batman VS Superman movie.

"Ugh, I hated that movie. The director is such a Hack Snyder!"

by TaxiFred March 10, 2018

46👍 28👎


Popcorn Movie

Movies that are fun to watch without necessarily being particularly good. The sort of film you sit down to watch while eating copious amounts of popcorn and drinking soda by the gallon at the theater.

Often contain a lot of fluff and special-effects, and are generally little more than silly, pure escapism. Which is why they're fun to watch after a long week of dealing with fucktards at work or school.

The 90's and early 2000's were the heyday of popcorn-movies thanks to the development of better special effects and filming techniques that were fun to watch... but often came at the expense of story and serious character development. However, with the growing popularity of "gritty" and "realistic" films (aka, boring-ass Zack Snyder bullshit where everything is filmed in extreme shaky closeup and stories go on about twice as long as they need to), popcorn-movies in the late-2000's through the present no longer contain the fun or wow factor they once had. Now it's just lame, joyless bullshit.

The 1999 version of "The Mummy" is a REAL 'popcorn movie.'

Fucking "Transformers 17: Reign of the Rise of the Revenge of Vengence in 3D" or whatever horseshit is passing for 'popcorn movies' these days is just grating bullshit.

by TaxiFred April 3, 2016

28👍 17👎