Spank it bloody

An aggresive and prolonged form of masturbation resulting in a chaffing and subsequential bleeding of the male genetalia.

Jim: Sorry you couldn't hook up tonight at the club. Hang in there man you'll get past this dry spell.
Gary: Thats alright I'm going to go home and spank it bloody to work out some of this frustration.

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Dependopotamus

An obese military members wife. AKA, BMW (Big Military Wife)
The dependopotamus can often be found grazing at Burger King on any given military installation.

Why do Dependopotamuses have sex in the water? It's the only way to keep 400lbs. of p%$$* wet.

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