jerkin it old school

Masturbating/jerking off to porno magazines as opposed to videos and pictures from the internet.

Dude #1 - Whatcha doin?

Dude #2 - I'm jerkin it old school!

Dude #1 - Huh???!!!

Dude #2 - My internet connection is down so I'm jerking off to my Dad's old stash of porno mags instead!

Phantom Booger

After blowing your nose on a tissue, a phantom booger is a booger that did not make it to the tissue and is nowhere to be found. Common destinations of the phantom booger are your arms, hair, face, steering wheel, keyboard, and monitor. Phantom boogers can potentially lead to embarrassment and awkward social situations.

Dude #1: Dude, I just blew my nose and the booger is nowhere to be found!

Dude #2: Dude, it must be a phantom booger!

Dude #1: I must find it!

Dude #2: Dude, it's on your cheek!

Dude #1: o noes!!

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