Cucumber

A Mediocre Substitute for a Penis or Dildo

Cashier: Would you like one that's short but has lots of girth or one with length but no girth?
Slut: One Cucumber long and thick.

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Pussphyxiation

Noun
A condition caused by lack of air when drowning in pussy.

Mother (worried): Oh, doctor. What will happen to my son?
Doctor: I'm afraid there is nothing to fix anymore. He pusssphyxiated and the lack of oxygen killed him. Mother (crying): Pussphyxiation? Oh dear. He's gone. I should've kept him away from that Old Spice.