Emo Gatekeeper

To a normal person, emo music consists of bands such as My Chemical Romance, The Used, Jimmy Eat World and Paramore. However, an Emo Gatekeeper would claim that it’s “too melodramatic and staged!!!!!” They say emo is not supposed to be mainstream (which is a dumb thought in itself, because these bands are helping out your emo concept, but whatever).

They always go on rants that usually consists of something similar to this:
“Real emo sounds ENERGETIC, POWERFUL and somewhat HATEFUL. Fake emo is weak, self pity and a failed attempt to direct energy and emotion into music. “ They never stop to realize that literally no one gives a shit.

Their examples of “Real Emo” always consists of like the same five bands: Rites of Spring, Embrace, Cap n Jazz, Embrace, and Loma Prieta.

The first Rites of Spring album (who they usually call the first emo band) was released in 1985. This fits in with their age (usually around 50) because it’s proves they probably have an emotional attachment to their childhood emo bands and are scared of change. You kinda gotta feel bad for them.

People who listen to normal emo (shit like mcr) don’t really at all about what music is or isn’t, they just like the music. Emo Gatekeepers seem to be the only ones who push their beliefs so hard.

Dude 1: Hey, dude 2! Wanna listen to some emo?

Dude 2: Sure! I love MCR and Paramore

Emo Gatekeeper; *busts through wall* “LISTEN HERE KID YOU CLEARLY DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT EMO MEANS! EMO DERIVES FROM THE DC EMOTIONAL HARDC-“

Dudes 1 & 2: Bro, no one gives a shit

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