mojado

1. Means "wet" in Spanish.
2. An illegal Mexican immigrant who crossed the US/Mexican border by swimming across the Rio Grande.
3. Spanish slang term for getting drunk by drinking alot of mojito cocktails.

Inside a restroom at a gas station...

Pablo: (mopping the floor) Oye Pablo que pasa? Wassup ese?
Jorge: (trying to unclog a toilet) Yo Pablo, man this work is fucking pissing me off, homes. Someone must have been constipated as fuck here.
Pablo: Yeah man this is bullshit and I'm boring my ass off here. Say wanna come with me to Roberto's Cantina with me? I hear they make awesome cocktails and we're gonna get mojado over there. Plus loads of fine-ass mamacitas too. Paradise homes! Pair-a-dice!
Jorge: Sorry ese, but we can't. We're both mojados remember? We need IDs to get in there and I dont want no one getting la migra on our asses. Besides it's fucking raining cats and dogs out there and I dont want to get all mojado and ruin my clothes.
Pablo: Um... well, I brought some porn mags with me.
Jorge: (finishing unclogging the toilet) Orale wey! Let me have that copy of Tig Ol' Bitties so I can amuse myself in here for a little while.

57👍 73👎

Freese

verb:
1. To make a sudden winning comeback at the very last and crucial minute or moment of a competitive situation(i.e a game, sport, fight, etc.) and shock an opponent or opponents in the process, who previously thought was/were going to win.

1. David Freese totally Freesed the Texas Rangers during the second extra inning of Game 6 of the 2011 World Series by hitting a walk-off home run and giving the St. Louis Cardinals a 10-9 win over the Rangers, who would have won if they hadn't failed to get the Cardinals out in the previous innings and prevent them from scoring runs to tie the game. Then the Rangers ultimately choked in Game 7 and lost the World Series.

2. Timmy was on the floor covered in bruises after getting the shit beat out of him by a bully, but he then Freesed the bully by kicking him really hard in the groin while he stood over him and caused him to stumble like a felled oak.

18👍 1👎

prince of whales

A man who regularly enjoys hitting on, making sexual advances toward, and even having sexual encounters with as many obese women as he could find. The serial womanizing epitome of a chubby chaser basically.

Mac: Hey look at Al over there hitting on every fat broad he comes across in this joint! Shit man he must be wasted!

George: Nah he is just a regular prince of whales. He just loooooooves all that excess baggage.

1👍 2👎

old folks' home

A place where you should never, and I mean NEVER play a boombox while it is set on Turbo Bass. Otherwise, as a recent scientific study conducted by Andy Samberg and Julian Casablancas has shown, the music would be way too powerful and cause the elderly residents under its influence to engage in a disgusting sex orgy. Well, unless that is your fetish.

And remember that the boombox is NOT a toy.

Here's the actual account of what happened:

Transport now to an old folks' home,
Where the elderly are tossed on their brittle bones.
The orderlies are stealing, there's no excuse
Every day for lunch they eat boiled goose.
So I grab my boom box and hit the turbo bass
And what happened next was a total disgrace.

Everybody started having sex
The music was way too powerful
A bunch of old people fucking like rabbits
It was disgusting, to say the least.

A boom box can change the world,
But you gotta know your limits with a boom box.
And this was a cautionary tale,
A BOOM BOX IS NOT A TOY!

9👍 1👎

safety goggles

When one purposely gets drunk enough to attain the condition of beer goggles in order to survive an otherwise embarrassing sexual encounter with somebody who is physically unattractive.

Tom's evening was nearly ruined when his friends forced him to play wingman with the fat ugly broad who was cockblocking and impeding their chances of scoring it with her more attractive companions. Fortunately, he utilized his wits and before he could take one for the team, he downed several bottles of Dogfish Head 90 Minute India Pale Ale, then nailed the bitch while his inebriated senses mistook her for a Jessica Alba lookalike and enjoyed every minute of it. When he was done, he got dressed and got out while still drunk, otherwise he could have passed out and woken up moments later sober and with the poor man's Rosie O'Donnell in bed with him. Thus, his safety goggles did work after all.

7👍 1👎

Obamobile

A car that has been decorated all over from trunk to hood with Barack Obama campaign stickers.

I drove in my pimped out Obamobile to the Obama campaign rally and everyone started cheering and roaring their approval at my choice of bodywork modification.

14👍 14👎

sulfur hexafluoride

A very dense, inert, non-toxic gas that is much heavier than air and used in the electrical industry as an insulating gas. If you inhale it, it would make your voice sound like Satan, i.e. really deep. This is because sound travels through this gas slower than it does through air.

When the science teacher demonstrated how sound travels differently through different gasses by inhaling helium and sulfur hexafluoride respectfully, he began to talk like a chipmunk and then like Darth Vader.

Justin Bieber inhaling sulfur hexafluoride would probably result in his voice sounding like a normal maturing teenage boy's voice, rather than like a little girl's.