Screw the nut

Glaswegian slang meaning “be careful”, “pay attention” or “stop messing about” depending on the situation. Your “nut” is your head, or your brain, to be more precise!

“Screw the nut, ya dafty!”
…means “stop messing about, you silly person!”

five finger refund

A Five-Finger-Refund is when a thief steals an item, then either themselves or a friend returns later with said item, claiming to have purchased it, and asks for a refund!

“Sh*t, we’ve ran out of beers. Time to head to ASDA with those hair products the missus stole earlier for a five finger refund!”

Global Village Idiot

A “Global Village Idiot” is a flat Earther who constantly unwittingly proves the Earth is a globe, whilst trying to prove it’s flat!

Years ago, village idiots would be tolerated by the villagers as a harmless local laughing stock. Nowadays, the internet has exposed the modern day village idiots, known as flat Earthers, to a global audience, hence the term “Global Village Idiot”!

“CC is one of the most hilarious flat Earthers on YouTube! He’s the very definition of a Global Village Idiot”!

A Bent Shot

A Glaswegian term alluding to a person’s sexual proclivities: namely a homosexual type person, male or female.

“Watch yersel’ in the showers when that P.E. teacher is around…ahm sure he’s a bent shot…”