facebook proselytizer

noun-

One who uses facebook to convert or attempt to convert others as a proselyte in one's own religious faith or one's own political party, or to espouse one's doctrine.; One who recruits for conversion (a person) from one belief, doctrine, cause, or faith to another.; a royal douchebag; Also, especially British, face⋅book pros⋅e⋅lyt⋅iz⋅er.

verb- "facebook proselytize"

Facebook Proselytizer- (status in news feed on Monday) "Hey all of you on my friends list... Healthcare reform is bad for our country! So much for global warming?!?!? The weather is fine! We are one step closer to overturning Roe vs. Wade! Yadda, yadda, yadda..."

Facebook Proselytizer- (status in news feed on Tuesday) "Ye must be born again!"

Facebook Proselytizer- (status in news feed on Wednesday) "The governor is a scumbag for blah blah blah"

Someone sane on the facebook proselytizer's friend list- "Man, what a douche!?!? Let's see... where's that person... Ah hah! There they are." *clicks the x to remove the facebook proselytizer from friend list* "That's much better."

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Stalker-fake

A person, typically female, who accuses everyone she meets as being a "stalker". The official definition of "stalker" is completely rewritten by this individual, who blindly rejects the seriousness of such accusations, to the point where she will accuse a person of being a stalker simply because they walked into the same restaurant. The person has a complete disregard for the potentially disastrous effect such slander may cause to others. Quite often, the Stalker-fake suffers from serious paranoia, psychosis, and/or dementia and should seek professional help immediately.

Stalker-fake: "Oh my god! Today this stalker followed me into the mall and then I saw him in his car later on that day."

Anyone willing to listen: "Really? Was his car following you?"

Stalker-fake: "Well, for a bit he was driving a few cars behind me, but then he turned down another road."

Anyone willing to listen: "Have you since him since?"

Stalker-fake: "No, but I bet he's been following me to work."

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