Potato

Potato: a large stone, edible, beige tinted, acne, can be eaten in many ways, irish ☘️, could contain poision- also my god, i praise and bow to the potato, the potato is my hero, my idol, my inspiration, my everything, potato’s will be the last specie to survive climate change- because they are inevitable 👌🏻

Potato-

“ hey girl..”

“ *cough cough * excuse me did you just say - girl- did you just assume my GENDER”

“ I’m so sorry, what do you identify as?”

“ a potato “

Shoes

Shoes- shoes r- well.. the houses/ beds for your feet, shoes can come in many forms because- humans like to overcomplicate things...

Shoes are for your feet- to hide your feet, cause there is no such thing as pretty feet ( sorry for those who love there feet or have a foot fetish ) you know what feet are so ugly we invented a second layer to hide them- socks.

Your feet: ” im cold and everyone is staring at me”

You: “no problem one second...”

* put on socks *

You: “ no wait your not hidden enough you can still se the shape of your feet”

- adds shoes -

You : “ Perfect “ 👌🏻