Swiss Bag

An unfortunate defect that occurs in plastic bags where the bottom isn't sealed properly and holes exist but are not apparent until actual use.

When the Swiss Bag is used to pick up dog poop while walking the dog, it becomes a Swiss Poop Bag. Should the dog walker use the Swiss Poop Bag to pick up dog poop, there is a high likelihood the dog walker will experience fresh pressed poop

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Double Dog Ghosting

A retaliatory act that is taken if you've been the victim of ghosting whereby in the event the ghoster ever in the future re-attempts to communicate the original victim can ignore the ghoster and claim the double dog ghost.

I can't believe Edson ghosted me and four months later decided to hit me up for a booty call. I am totally double dog ghosting him.

Hitchcock Scale

Much like the Richter Scale measures the strength of an earthquake, the Hitchcock Scale measures the strength of a sneeze. The scale goes from 1 to 10 where 10 is the highest. A sneeze measuring 1 is basically that of a very polite grandmother, barely a "psst." Whereas a 10 is a sneeze that results in death.

Sandy: "God bless you!"
Jon: "Thanks... that was at least an 8 on the Hitchcock Scale. I sharted and I'm still seeing spots."

indexident

A dent that appears on one's index finger from spending too much time on a laptop mouse pointer.

Dude! I was surfing porn for so long last night that I got indexident and wt

fresh pressed poop

The act of squeezing recently picked up dog poop while in a plastic bag.

I picked up the dog poop using an inside out baggie and then squished it through my fingers. It was warm. I love the feeling of fresh pressed poop

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snoogans

Word used to express pleasure or agreement. Synonym of words/phrases (when used in correct context) as "sweet"; "cool"; "nice"; "awesome"; and some times "hell yes".

Example for "sweet", "cool", etc..
Girlfriend - "I'm really horny"
Boyfriend - "Snoogans"

Example for "hell yes"...
Girlfriend - "Want to have sex?"
Boyfriiend - "Snoogans"

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Shitstracted

When you get distracted while talking a shit and tie up the bathroom for too long.

Son what are you doing in there? It’s my turn. Sorry dad… I got shitstracted watching videos on my phone.