Poohberg

When a person births a turd pile so large that it fills the bowl so completely that a small portion is above the surface of the toilet water.

Last night we had Italian then drank A LOT and had late-night Mexican and thus morning I had a tremendous shit, so big I birthed a poohberg

Handputer

Hand-held computer, A.K.A., smartphone

Sometimes you just want a regular fuckin' keyboard instead of trying to write an email with a slows-as-fuck-to-type on handputer!

Instamacy

adverb

1) When an individual begins a romantic relationship which started on-line, and thinks that he/she has an instant, intimate connection to the other person...which just scares the shit out of the other person when there is marriage and kid talk on a first date!

2) The feeling in a nascent relationship (first date) that you're totally going to get laid that night!

3) When you meet a girl/guy for the first time and one of both of you start talking about super serious shit that happened to you as a kid when it's WAY too early

So I've got a date with this Jenn, who I met on-line, we only talked once on the phone, but emailed for like two weeks everyday and it was instamacy right away! I totally think I'm falling in-like with her, she's 5'8", nice rack, great body, and really funny...I already went to the website to figure out what our kids will look like. Would you think it was odd if someone asked you to marry them on the first date?

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Cute-rage

The sight of something so effing cute, such as a beagle puppy playing, or any cute puppy, or baby dressed in a onesie that makes them look like a bear or some other fuzzy cute animal. Take an already cute baby, add the onesie multiplier effect and it is too much for most passionate, feeling people to take. Once the cute-rage has occurred, this energy must be dissipated by punching something, typically a large pillow which provides enough resistance for the blows to feel satisfying or hugging the kid/dog so hard their eyes pop out; as this is not an option, you hit the pillow and run around swearing about the cuteness. Cute-rage CANNOT and does not occur with inanimate objects. The DSM only defines cute-rage to occur after seeing a living thing that is off-the-charts cute, or doing something similarly cute.

Holy fawking shit, did you see that four-year-old dressed up as a lion? He had a tail, the hood with ears a la Max from Where the Wild Things Are, whiskers painted on his chubby little cheeks! When he trick-or-treated my house I almost punched a hole in the door from the cute-rage; I was so overtaken by his off-the-charts cuteness! He even growled at me with this little kid voice before the "trick-or-treat".

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