drug testing

a technique used by many companies that if not stipulated in the contract is in fact illegal. however once employed you are subject to their tests. there is blood (rare), hair (pretty rare), urine (most common), spit, and other types of testing that pick up on the basic drugs. however these tests are so fuckin intense now they pretty much tell the story of your life

*Modern Day Drug Testing*
Employer: So we got your drug test back today...
Employee: Ya, everything should be good I'm clean.
Employer: Ya but it says here that you look at porn on thursdays...get out.

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bra

the common man's form of kryptonite
unless experienced
good luck gettin that shit off

guy 1: fuck bro i couldnt get jackies bra off last night
guy 2:...you bitch

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DFD

A group of friends that originated in Huntington Beach, California. This acronym stood for Down For Dining. This was another way of saying that you are for or that you want to go and eat. Favorite places include, the IHOP outside of Knotts (especially during knotts scary farm), the IHOP on main street in huntington beach. and chris' house. (otter pops)

guy 1:dude omg i am so hungry, are you DFD?
guy 2: fuck ya bro, lets hit IHOP, i'm so down for dining

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hangover

A condition in which the body is trying to cope with the mass quantities of alcohol consumed roughly 8 hours earlier. the liver needs to detoxify the bloodstream so it uses water from other parts of the body including the brain to do it. This causes body cramps, uncomfortableness, headaches, and other shit.

Pretty much, its god's way of saying "k lets sit down and figure out what we did last night" this often results int he realization of new girlfriends, unwanted hook ups, the discovery that you will soon be a parent, and other horrible issues.

Guy: "God i have a terrible hangover...whatdid i do last night?"
God: "Lets hammer this shit out."

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soulja boy

someone that by targeting the 16-17 year old girl audience has now obtained recognition in the music world. His songs in all reality are fucking horrible. They contain really no story other than him wanting to fuck bitches and rapping about adolescent shit that really has no feelign to it at all. Crank That, one of his songs, has become a huge hit even though it is poorly written and has shitty beats to it. The sad thing is that people liek this are being hailed as superstarts now and the younger listeners no longer respect truly great rappers like tupac, notorious B.I.G., dr. dre, and alot of other really talented people
instead they listen to this shit
and he lives with his mom and dad...i rest my case

girl: "hey lets go to that soulja boy concert tommorow night"
Boy: "ya and maybe tonight you can sleep with a gun in your mouth"
girl: "..."

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divorce

the act of surgically taking a wife's hands from her husband's neck and attatching them to his balls and wallet

guy 1: got a divorce, bitch got everything, shes so far up my ass if she spits its comin out of my mouth
guy 2: bummer...

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bitch

there are many definitions of the word bitch. Some of them are as follows.

1) Verb, the act of bitching far to much. whining, moping, or just being annoying about stupid shit

2)Noun, a female who is all in all, not pleasant to be around. They usually travel in packs and each group of friends has teh DBF. Designated Bitchy Friend, Also See DFF (designated fat friend)

3)Noun, the receiver, or catcher in any homosexual relationship

4)Noun, one forced to perform petty tasks for another, often hoping for their acceptance, and maybe even gratitude in return

5)The middle seat in any car. This is refferrd to as "sitting bitch". This can be settled in many ways, the most common of which is that the littlest one is forced into the middle where they can look forward to scrunched knees, shoulders, and a general uncomfortableness. However, in the case that a female is present, she is automatically elected to sit bitch. she then is forced into the middle because god forbid that the boys legs touch when they dont have to.

1) John was bitching all night, he just kept whining about how shaylee dumped him. what a tool.

2)Wow, chrissy is such a bitch. I dont see why ashley and them hang out with her, her bitchiness actually rubs off on them. She is definetly the DBF.

3)Jake Jillenhall in brokeback mountain...thats all ihave to say.

4)Jake just went and got me another beer and some hot wings, he is most def. my bitch for the night.

5)Ok josh, your the smallest get in the middle. O wait, Natalie is here, Nat sorry girl but your gonna have to sit in the middle. I dont want Jakes gayness rubbing off on me. So hop in, looks like you'll be sitting bitch

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