Detroit

1. The largest city in Michigan, and currently the 11th largest city in the US.

2. Once upon a time, the murder capital of the US.

3. The location of every single sports record ever broken in Michigan.

3. The cleanest, most beautiful city in the world. See also, sarcasm.

If you live anywhere in Michigan other than Detroit, you consider Detroit to be it's own separate state. Detroit is instead "Un-Michigan".

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Michigan

-A magical, mitten-shaped land consisting primarily of trees, whitetail deer, squirrels, beaches, and snow. Inhabited by a race of people which are said to never complain about the cold, have a diet of which is made of 85% venison and beer, and are rumored to be direct descendants of Canadians.
-Consists of the U.P. and the lower peninsula. Don’t ever call it the “L.P.”
-Where whitetail deer come from.
-Where whitetail deer flee from in November.
-Tourists are both hated and loved here. The state needs them for a sustainable economy, yet it doesn't matter where you go; if you are a tourist, no one likes you.
-All five Great Lakes belong to Michigan. Ontario included. Which is why Michigan is also called the “Great Lakes State”. Deal with it.
-An Asian Carp’s dream home.
-Therefore, Asian Carp are a Michigander/Michiganian’s greatest fear (other than running out of beer and deer to hunt).
-There is only one sports rivalry that matters: University of Michigan and Michigan State.
-Nobody in Michigan can drive worth a damn unless there’s snow on the ground. But even if there is snow on the ground, one should drive cautiously; this excludes douche bags with trucks. They quickly end up in the ditches.
-Detroit… just… sucks. Anyone who lives outside Detroit considers it it’s own state. It’s often referred to as “Un-Michigan” or “Red Wings Land”.
-Without Detroit, Michigan would be much further down on the obesity and crime lists.
-See also: Canada.

Person A: So where are you from?
Person B: Michigan.
Person A: Oh really, me too. What part?
Person B: Detroit.
Person A: ...Oh... So, uh... I hear they have hockey over there, huh?

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Cartoon Network Real

1. A block of shows on Cartoon Network focusing solely on real people and live action.

2. A paradoxical block of shows on Cartoon Network that have absolutely nothing to do with cartoons (Thus the paradox).

3. A diabolical creation made by snobby executives who have no respect for classic cartoons, ratings, or what kids want.

"Hey, have you seen that new series called Cartoon Network Real?"

"Cartoon Network Real? You mean that series that's an obscenity to all things cartoon, and a blatent disregard for the network's name?"

"That's the one!"

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Multichatting

Simultaneously having an online IM chat with several people while also sitting within conversation distance of said people in real life, especially on Facebook.

Random guy: Hey, what are you guys all laughing about?

Chatting guy: We're all multichatting on Facebook.
(gets a message)
Chatting guy: LOL, he totally does!

CoD

1. Abbreviated form of Call of Duty, a first-person shooter game.

2. Abbreviated form of Call of Duty, a first-person shooter game, which currently has the highest number of loud, obnoxious douchebags per game.

(While playing CoD)

Gamer 1: NO FRIKKIN WAY!! DID YOU SEE THAT?! I TOTALLY shot that guy!! Oh my GOD!! This game is GAY!!

Gamer 2: Dude, shut up.

Gamer 1: Go suck a wang!!!

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