Random
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Random
Brits who went to America killed the natives and were too stingy to pay the small tea tax. They went mad because of the tea deprivation and decided they wanted independence! They swore never ever to drink tea ever again.
Me: Do you at least have a kettle!
Americans: *sweating*
What you call a Karen when you're having a bad day.
I'm sorry, lady, but you're going to have to wait in line like everybody else.
The creepy old guy who watches you through the curtains. His catchphrase is GET OF MY LAWN
Me: do you think he's a boomer
Boomer *yelling*: GET OF MY LAWN
The season when you're forced to be happy. If your not, a fat communist comes and beats you up. He enslaves little people who make stuff and fuel consumerism. The fat man in red breaks into your house and delivers gifts which your parents pay for. None of the gifts are free and the 'santa' man is secretly a trillionaire who sells people stuff. Santa is communist but he has his factory in china where he makes the cheap plastic toys.
Society: Santa Claus is coming to town
Me: Christmas already!? It's the jolly fat man! Run for your lives!
1: the place you can go if you want to visit Hitler, Stalin, or Trump.
2: the holiday resort for Trump supporters.
3: the place you can go if you are not atheist (because it doesn't exist, not because God likes atheists. (not that God exists.)
4: Earth.
Satan: do you support trump?
Trump supporter: yes
Satan: hell's right this way
Trump supporter: what do you mean?
Satan: you're going to hell
Trump supporter: Finally! What took you so long!
The only song that has been sung FAR too many times!
Me: *ages*
Everyone who likes the happy birthday song: Happy birthday to y...
Me: Just give me cake god damn it!