wookie-eyed

A short-sighted person or one whose eyes don't align in a regular manner.

Look at that twat: totally wookie-eyed!

shtoomper

noun A multi-purpose mild insult, quite often making a comparison to male genitalia or the anus. Similarly it can liken an individual to an idiot or foolish person.

Where is it? It's up my shtoomper!
I balanced this on my shtoomper for a laugh.
He's a total shtoomper!
What a shtoomper!