Carpe Dime

Carpe Dime is a latin phrase for ...Seize the Money!

Mark.....Did ya hear what our NEW IRS slogan?

John.....No What is it?

Mark.....Carpe Dime!......Seize the Dime!

John....Ya they want as much of our money as possible!

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Textetary

A Textetary is a person that you ask to text for you when you can't....like when you are driving!

Mark...Janet could you be a good little Textetary and respond to tha the last text that Sherrill sent me? Tell her we are going out to the Honky Tonk!

Janet...No problem....you have another one from Andy...what do you want me to tell him? Tell him to sell that stock!

Eddie Haskell

The act of overt flattery to put someone at ease so you can take advantage of thier lowered defenses.

I Eddie Haskell'd this gals Parents and they let me take their 7 series BMW when I took their Daughter out......Then I back seat mauled her!

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Fishno

Video footage of really great recreational fishing. It usually has FISHNO Stars.

I love watch Glenn Hall catch winter Steelhead on Hawg Quest....on one of the FISHNO channels.

Situational Elation

Situational Elation is the feeling you get when your life is usually shitty,but something unexpectedly good happens to you!

Andy said......That Mark sure seems happy.....which is really weird because his life sucks!

Sherrill responded........Ya his life is shit....but its just a bout of Situational Elation......somebody just bought his property out of the blue and he can pay off his debts! His life is still shit,but he owes less!

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Foodno

Foodno is any media that glorifies FOOD!

Mark...I really want to meet Rachel Ray.
Sherril...She is a cutie!
Mark....No not because she is cute.....It's because she is a FOODNO star....I mean she has television shows, cook books and even her own magazine. I love watching her on her cooking show...especially when she says...YUMMO!
Sherril...I'm into Bobby Flay.....Hey do ya think we have a problem?
Mark...NO!

Phonsing

Phonsing is the intense feeling of anxiety when you leave your cell phone at home.

Mark...Shit...I left my cell phone at home ...we gotta turn around right now and go back and get it....I can't miss and calls or texts! I

Mark...NOW!

Jimi...Chill out we are just gonna be another minute..I need the iodine for my daughters cut.

Mark...NO...Now! Turn around...NOW!
I just can't take this...what if I miss a call!

Jimi...Ok I'll run in and be out in a flash! Quit phonsing so hard!

Mark..Screw it I'm driving back NOW! I will come back to pick Jimi in a bit.

Mark