Brett Bauer

Two words that seem to comprise a name, but are in fact sentence modifiers and word replacements of epic and biblical proportions. They can literally squeeze their way into any sentence in the English language, and should be used to their fullest.

Note, Brett Bauer does not need to appear in order in a sentence, nor does it need to be in its entirety (ie: just "brett" or "bauer" is okay. "Brett my bauer!", "You totally bretted your bauer on your skateboard last night", "The problem with your car appears to be a loose bretters and desperate need of a bauer change"

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Massachusetts Park Job

An anal sex act, largely performed by males and females with strap-ons, that can be completed in three succinct steps.

1. Put it in the back door little cock-eyed ("a little cock-eyed" is usually described as at about an 80 degree angle).

2. Just leave it there for a little while (about 5 minutes is normal, but times up until 10 minutes or even climax have been done before)

3. Pull it out, and then look at the recepient of the act as if it's their fault (yelling optional)

"Hey, Dean. You were so plastered last night that you couldn't even fuck straight." "Yeah, I gave Mary a real Massachusetts Park Job"

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