can't get a wank in edgeways

When you really fancy a wank but you're preoccupied with doing something else.

For example "I can't get a wank in edgeways, I've got loads of work to do"

"I had a busy weekend, I couldn't get a wank in edgeways"

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Fishmonger's mop bucket

Used to describe a particularly fishy cunt.

"I shagged a girl last night, her cunt smelled like a fishmonger's mop bucket"

"My wife's cunt smells like a fishmonger's mop bucket"

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teabag turd

When a rogue unflushed turd is left for a few hours in the toilet bowl and takes on the appearance of a spent tea bag.

"I went to the toilet this morning and someone had left a teabag turd in there."

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