Tezzers

"Tezzers": a way of describing excellence, or comedic value.

Derived from "Terry's", as in "Terry's All Gold" - a brand of chocolates, in particular reference to the word "Gold", meaning excellence, quality, greatness, and so on.

"Man, did you see Lee Evans the other night? Total tezzers mate!"

Or, sarcastically: "Dude, can you believe that guy cracked lame jokes all night long?"
"Yeah. Talk about 'tezzers'"

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Cretmeister

(cret-meister)

A term for describing a person of low intelligence or social aptitude. An idiot, wally, or, in its derived sense, a cretin.

Someone who makes stupid mistakes, or comes out with foolish statements or questions.

"Are you going to the party tomorrow?"
"What? That was last night, ya cretmeister!"

or

"You ever listen to that show, The Absolute Peach?"
"Yeah, that Joe's a right cretmeister!"

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