take the brown bin out

To go for a dump. Drop the kids off at the pool. Light a bum cigar. To lay a brown egg

“I’ll be back in a minute babe, I’m just going to take the brown bin out. And I’ll wash my hands when I’m done”

goose taking off

The act of leaning far forward whilst sitting on the toilet to help ease out a particularly difficult/large stool

“Mate that was terrible, I’m all backed up, it was so bad I was leaning forward like a goose taking off trying to squeeze that one out”

lost in a wardrobe

Having such poor directional or navigational skills whether out walking or driving that you could literally get lost if you stepped in to an empty wardrobe

“Julie have you got any ideas where we are?”
“Yes Jim I’m sure I know where we are. We aren’t lost or anything”
“Honestly Julie you could get lost in a wardrobe”