Randall

The most perfect man. He has an unassuming amount of power and carries himself with pride. He makes for an excellent life partner due to how honourable, ridiculous,and hairless he is. He generally loves historical accuracy, snacks, eye kisses, the 1990s and birds that feed the babies.

His turn-offs include communism, neck beards and Jane Fonder.

“I have never met anyone as Randall as that guy”