Prioreotize

Verb:

To stop everything you're doing and eat an Oreo.

It is quite a popular activity.

Successful Individual: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JOHNNY?!

Johnny: *Takes hands out of pants while watching TV* Nothing!

Successful Individual: MY MAN, YOU NEED TO PRIOREOTIZE!

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Delivered on the Wrong Side of the Vagina

It's like waking up on the wrong side of the bed, except it's for life.

Bitchy Girl: Ugh. Can't sleep.
Clever Boy: Stroke yourself.
Bitchy Girl: Get a life.
Clever Boy: Done. Got it at Walmart.
Bitchy Girl: Awesome.
Clever Boy: Someeeeone got delivered on the wrong side of the vagina.
Bitchy Girl: How rude are you right now?
Clever Boy: Enough to be called rude. I guess that's obvious, though.

At this point I'd recommend a snack. Say, doritos. Or yogurt. Yogurt has the potential to be healthy and delicious at the same time.
Bitchy Girl: Honestly, fuck off.
Clever Boy: You should have your own show on MTV.

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