An oxymoron. Trump doesn't care about anything important to you, especially your health.
ME: Hey man, I see your cancer came back.
YOU: Yea. Losing my Obamacare though. Looking forward to TrumpCare.
ME: No he doesn't.
532👍 16👎
Definition 1) A poop.
Definition 2) A penis.
Let's face it, most logs that come out of the anus are poop. A dick, of course, could also be an Anal Log, depending if if the owner thinks it is worthy of being called a Log.
Josh: "Someone left a huge turd in the office mens room."
Peter: "That was me. I didnt flush."
Josh: "Why????"
Peter: "I want to remind everyone that somethings are still just Analog."
12👍 8👎
The person who taught your girlfriend how to give a Blow Job.
This is usually one of her friends in high school or college, using a banana as the test subject.
Whoever it was, you should thank them.
My girlfriend went to her her high school reunion, and her Head Coach was there!
The modern version of a one night stand. NSA fun, with a naughty ending.
Sarah: Are you leaving with that guy?
Amy: Yeah, I just met him.
Sarah: You know he doesnât have a job, right?
Amy: Yup. But, I need to get laid. This is just a Ho And Go
When you cum inside of a woman and get her pregnant.
I was Loading the Dishwasher about 8 months ago, and now she is a huge, hormonal pregger bitch.
A Quickie, is well, a quickie.
A Yankee is like a Quickie, but you do it yourself.
But a Spankee? That's like a Yankee but hurts a little bit more.
(**Shaking Hands)
Steve: Hey Josh, I havent seen you in a while. What's up?
Josh: Not much, a little stressed out a work.
Steve: Where you off too in such a rush?
Josh: To be honest? I gotta get a spankee on before I head back to work from lunch.
Steve: Aaaah yes. I just got got one in too.
(***Awkward looks after shaking hands)
To make something "cheesy."
Some things are perfect just the way they are - Sunsets, for instance. But as soon as some Instagram queen does the duckface-heart-hands pose, the beautiful sunset is now "cheesified," and the experience is ruined.
This also occurs when some Marketer has a brilliant "way to do it better." (When it was fine the way it was!)
Dude watching T.V.: "I like Flo from the insurance commercials. How could they Cheesify it with the ice dancing?"