whap my bacon on her face

1. (Scottish Slang) The deploarble act of savagely placing ones penis on someones face.

"I noticed your maw was asleep and decided to sneakily whap my bacon on her face."

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bugger-lugs

1.Someone with very large ears.

2.Ears ideal for use as handles which afford a sodomiser extra purchase and thus enable the delivery of a more thorough, forcefull bumming.

"Dude that supple boy has bugger-lugs!"

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plonkers

A game similar to conkers that involves two men and their genitalia.

Each man takes it in turn to whack the opponents balls with their penis. The receiver must ensure that their penis is held firmly up and out of the firing line so as not to interfear with a clean whack. This is repeated until the lesser man concedes defeat and the dispute is settled.

"Man i think your girlfriends hot; I'll give you a game of plonkers for her"

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