Scenic Route

An imaginary route used to explain otherwise inexplicable lateness.

Francine: "Bob, you're two and a half hours late! What took you so long?!"
Bob: "I took the scenic route."
Francine: "Oh, okay. That excuse makes perfect sense and I have no questions pertaining to the circumstances of your lateness beyond that."

36👍 3👎

Caffeening

The extreme caffeine craving caffeine addicts get when they don't get their daily coffee fix; feening for caffeine.

Oh, man... I haven't had coffee since yesterday. I'm caffeening so bad.

Merry Men

A slang term for homosexuals.

Merry Men marry men.

7👍 7👎

Mistranslasian

A hilariously bad attempt at translating something to English from any Asian language, most commonly Japanese.

"Hi, can I get some egg rolls?"
"Yes, we have many super octopus for you! It make happy power for you long time!"
"Does anyone work here who speaks fluent English? I couldn't understand any of that horrible mistranslasian you just made."

Bitch Juice

The urge to complain about something.

Man, I think I made my point about how shitty this grape drank is. I'm all outta bitch juice, so I'm just gonna drink it.

1👍 11👎

Greenpeace

The feeling of inner peace you get when you start smoking weed on a regular basis.

Also an organization of obnoxious hippies.

Jim: "So I walked right by Brad the other day and he didn't even mention the money I owe him."

Bob: "Yeah, he's been a lot less stingy ever since he found his inner greenpeace."

239👍 30👎