Random
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Random
When a guy with a short dick keeps slipping out of his partner's wet vagina while having sex. She doesn't notice the difference and keeps going as if the little pink elf just snuck away without a trace.
"That fucking Benny.... he got his fat girlfriend all worked up again and she didn't notice his slippery elf sneaking away in the middle of their fuck."
An agregiously shameful sex act involving a very drunk, whorish girlfriend, a tube of Mentos and a diet coke. The girlfriend is positioned face down on the bed (or may be already passed out this way) and several of the Mentos are manipulated into her ass, accompanied by a string of low, drunken moans. The man positions himself carefully and loudly declares "I am the God Vesuvius" as he pours diet coke into her anus and rams it home with his pecker. The resulting epic eruption brings about destruction of undeniable historical significance.
"What the hell is wrong with Matt? Ian told me that he gave that carnie girl the pompeii pickle the other night on his couch. The whole apartment smells like shit and cabbage."
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A nefarious girlfriend prank that involves icing one's erection to the point of near frostbite and then sliding in bed and punching your frozen member into her gasm chasm while simultaneously gripping her tightly and whooping like a cowboy. The goal is to stay on for 8 seconds while she bucks and kicks like an angry bull.
"Cody rode Sheena at the Eskimo Rodeo the other night. He got a black eye, a couple broken ribs and a busted lip but made it the whole 8 seconds. That dude is a legend. "
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The type of surprise a man experiences when during foreplay, reaches into the panties of an attractive young "woman" who turns out to have a pair of balls and a cock, perhaps even larger than his own.
"Jesus...did you hear about Billy last night? He got a junkprise from that sweetie at the bar. She was the hottest girl at the casino but turns out she was packing more meat than the local butcher."
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The incredibly satisfying act of allowing an unsuspecting, unobtainium hot girl to carry your seed in her belly as a surrogate by sereptisiously adding copious amount of your semen to food and drinks you serve to her. This works well for smoking hot girls that are friends that you will never be able to fuck or that bitch friend of your girlfriend who you've been jerking off over for the last 3 years. Also works for that fat cunt at the office that makes your life a living hell.
"Did you hear Bob turned Miss Oklahoma into one of his surroguzzlers by serving her a "loaded" grasshopper at the autism benefit gala last night?"
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When you sit behind an unsuspecting victim in a theater and jerk off, and at just the right moment, shoot her in the back of the head with your load and run out.
"Bill is a maniac...did you hear he did The John Wilkes Booth to Angela at the IMAX during the premier of Iron Man 3?"
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