The Dive

The man’s scalp is smoothly shaved down using lemon juice, coconut oil, and a half pound of home made butter. He then suits up with his roller skates and sets up his diving board for action, but not before lathering his body from the eyebrows down with molasses syrup for friction and so the scalp is favored as the slippery dome and centerpiece of the malicious act. He then looks his victim straight in the ass while he’s tied face down, rear up squirming for help. The man begins to read the Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs to his victim so they both can regurgitate before things really get started. After a couple chapters, the man deeply lathers the victims ass and genitals. He then sets candles up strategically around the victim in a circle, resembling his very own slippery scalp. He then applies the most flammable substance on earth,chlorine trifluoride, to his neck up the center of his scalp and lights it with the nearest candle! He rollerskates viciously to the diving board and leaps head first into the ass of the victim! At this point they’re both in the most terrible pain of their lives, and will remember this feeling even after death. The diver spins on his head with his toes in the air causing a flaming drill sensation in the asshole and stomach of the victim, leaving a giant bloody hole where his ass used to be. He then rubs sardine infested cream cheese in his face, and repeats the entire act until the victim has just barely a head remaining.

Poor Joey fell victim to the dive, he didn’t deserve that.... nobody does.

3👍 1👎

pelican leg scramble

The sexual act of inserting a healthy pelican anally and defecating using your feathered friend as a filter, causing scrambled fecies to run down the scrambler’s leg.

That prostate exam gave me flashbacks of the time I tried out the pelican leg scramble