minecoins

Minecraft money. Used by epic Minecrafters on Bedrock Edition. However, “free minecoins” are a scam!

Guy 1: Yo, mate, how many minecoins does it cost?
Guy 2: As many as it takes for you to buy Java Edition.

Or…

Kid: I want some free minecoins but mum won’t let me have her credit card number.
Paedophile: Hey kid, come in my Pedocar for some minecoins.
Kid: Okay.
(*pedo fucks kid and kills him*)
Everyone: Oh shit, should have remembered stranger danger and the fact that you already got minecoins at Christmas, stupid!

Skate Yeet

Skate yeeting is when you yeet a ball when ice skating or playing ice hockey. You must say “yeet!” in order to do it or else it is a load of bollocks.

Person 1: “Last night I saw him skate yeet”.
Person 2: “What? You are lying!”
Person 3: “Hey idiots, we all know!”
Person 1: “See!”

The Coconut Song

A song about all the private parts of a human’s anatomy, so it goes;
Coconut, coconut (breasts)
Big banana (penis)
2 marshmallows (testicles),
One sultana (anus/buttocks)
And a big lasagne (vagina)

The song playing at the store was The Coconut Song.

1👍 1👎

Frenchy

A Frenchman. It is not derogatory, same as Aussie, Kiwi and Kanuck.

1st person: “! Eh, Jacques Cousteau, the Frenchy. Yeah I know him, he actually made scuba!”
2nd person: “E.R.B made a rap of him versing Steve Irwin, Steve won.”
1st person: “We Frenchies believe Jacques won and boiled him like frog legs, scampi, horse meat and escargot in a stew mister, I’ll serve you bitch lasagne, m**k!”
3rd person: “I hate m**ks, Irish motherf**kers have Jacksepticeye in Dublin, I agree with him!”
2nd person: “Shut the f**k up you Indian c**t!”

Pirate Speak 🏴 ☠️

A fing dat we pirates speak ‘n’ we feed ye to the crocs ‘n’ find me a seagrass plain while we’re stranded on a ship lookin’ for treasure buried on the sand ‘n’ ya yeet we be talkin’ to our parrots, makin’ sushi ‘n’ bein’ a water rat, me hearteys. Me heart so small ‘cause I a pirate! Ma, ha, ha. Ye shark, yer easy I’ll batter ye! Sail away with our scurvy mateys and arrgh I’ll be a sea monkey’s uncle when I say ‘r’ is our second favourite letter but ‘c’ is first because we always be near the sea. Her beauty awaits stealin’ oil tankers and findin’ golden doubloons in chests ‘n’ fishin’ for new boots and no education arrgh

Redneck: “Oy ol’ mate ‘er says do pirate speak!”
City dude: “Yeah!”
both chanting pirate speak
Pirate: “No way Jose! Okay, A fing dat we pirates speak ‘n’ we feed ye to the crocs ‘n’ find me a seagrass plain while we’re stranded on a ship lookin’ for treasure buried on the sand ‘n’ ya yeet we be talkin’ to our parrots, makin’ sushi ‘n’ bein’ a water rat, me hearteys. Me heart so small ‘cause I a pirate! Ma, ha, ha. Ye shark, yer easy I’ll batter ye! Sail away with our scurvy mateys and arrgh I’ll be a sea monkey’s uncle when I say ‘r’ is our second favourite letter but ‘c’ is first because we always be near the sea. Her beauty awaits stealin’ oil tankers and findin’ golden doubloons in chests ‘n’ fishin’ for new boots and no education arrgh!”
All: “Pirate speak 🏴 ☠️ is real!”

4👍 4👎

Bitchblower

A total wanker.

Guy 1: “Bitchblower don’t need no f**king balls!”
Guy 2: “Eh, you a s**tty c**t!”
Guy 3 (the b***hblower): “Language!”
Guy 1/2: F**K OFF, GERALD!

Māori swear words

Swear words in Māori. They aren’t usually the same as the English ones. They include:
* upokokohua - boiled head
* kai hamuti/kai roke - eat shit
* tō raho - your balls (used similar to 'dickhead')
* tō teke - your vagina (used similar to 'cunt')
* koe kurī - you dog
* ngote raho - sucking balls
* pokotiwha - bastard

White guy: Do you know any Māori swear words? In particular, what’s fuck in Māori?
Māori: There is no word for fuck in Māori.
White guy: Āhahā! (Damn!) not a swear word