Vampire

1 (Literal definition). A fictional monster of myth and legend that sucks blood and burns in sunlight and holy water. They are undead and their status as a vampire is highly contagious, due to the fact that a vampire's bite on the neck will turn the victim into a vampire, thus causing a vampire breakout. A vampire will sleep in a coffin by day and come out at night to feed on human and/or animal blood. They tend to have a high relation to bats, as they have capes that slightly resemble bat wings and they can transform into a bat. Vampires typically wear formal white suits or other uniforms; pairing them with black shoes, red bow ties, and a large, black cape. A vampire bites its victim in the area in between the neck and the shoulder, and it has large, menacing fangs; extremely pale skin, and, occasionally, claws.

2 (Personal definition). A creature that began to turn un-cool after the release of the piece of crap that they call a book "Twilight." Edward Cullen and Stephanie Meyer completely turned vampires into pretty-boy, non-human-blood-sucking, sparkly, twiggy wimps. A vampire is supposed to BURN in sunlight, not sparkle in it; a vampire must kill everything, not go 'Oh, I'm so wimpy that I'm not gonna hurt humans.'; a vampire must be evil, not nice. The modern definition of Vampire is now "A little lover creature that sparkles in sunlight and will not hurt humans." I swear, I hate Twilight for messing up the true meaning of the word "vampire."

1. Oh my God, Drake, a vampire just bit me! I think I'm going to turn into one! OUCH!

2. Oh, look at me, I'm a pretty fairy.

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11-Year-Old Girl

The annoying type of immature girl that is high on hormones. They are easily identifiable. You know a girl that's 11 years old when (in a stereotypical view):

-You see her always with her friends
-She holds hands and/or links elbows with her friends
-Asks for Facebook all the time
-Internet begins to infect her

-Develops an addiction to pink and sparkles
-Begins to hate school more than ever
-Wears BFF shirts and bracelets and has too many sleepovers

-Has highlights in her hair and wears furry boots
-Kind of gets bratty
-CHOCOLATE.
-"Eww!"
-Hates boys
-Addiction to Twilight
-Squeals too much

I saw a pair of 11-Year-Old Girls last night at the ice skating rink. I couldn't be there for a whole minute, that's how annoying they are. Ugh.

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Facebook

A stupid website that used to be great before the teenagers and twilight moms took over it. Basically, on Facebook, you talk to people you don't know, 'friend' famous people, and share photos. Honestly, the only things Facebook is useful for are:

1. Posting pictures
2. Planning events

But no, people don't do that with Facebook. Instead, they waste all their time not making a difference in the world and instead playing some stupid game, cramming apps into their page, and gawping at some stupid status like "i juzt finished eating some pi lol" or "hy n00bz, lets al get some pizzazz!!!1!!111!!!one!!" when there's so much they can do instead, like hang out with REAL friends or go to a bar. People call it a "Social Network" but social time is actually and physically BEING with someone, not chatting with them in doofus language. Put blankly, Facebook is stupid and a stalker's dream.

I'd rather be with my girlfriend in real life than 'talk' to her over Facebook.

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Ark Music Factory

An evil record label founded by Patrice Wilson created to brainwash idiotic 13-year-olds into thinking they can sing (see Rebecca Black), then releasing some horrid 'smash hit' that goes extremely viral and eventually hated. Their fame got larger and larger with the release of Rebecca Black's Friday, known by Rolling Stone, TIME Magazine, and other companies as "the worst song ever." Other awful works by this corporation include Alana Lee's 'Butterflies' and Ariana Dvornik's "Fly Away." All songs are known to contain stupid teenagers doing adult things, ludicrous amounts of autotune, the founder's voice in every song, some kind of 'party,' and other things. Patrice himself owns a YouTube account by the name of 'trizzy66.' This account name proves he's evil because 'trizzy' has six letters in it followed by the number 66. Altogether, this means 666, meaning he has to be evil.

Ark Music Factory is an evil, pedophilic company that thinks it's okay to exploit teenagers and turn them into corporate money-making machines. Yeah, they make Warner Music Group and VEVO look like the angels of record labels.

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