Mewing

🤫🧏

Adam: Hey John! Wanna hang out?

John: 🤫🧏

Dave: He doesn't want to lose his mewing streak...

Adam: 🤫🧏

Dave: 🤫🧏

Fucking Fuckery Fuck Fuck

A word to use when you're so pissed at something, it shall be only used in extremely dire situations of anger and rage.

(Your inner gamer rage has activated!)

You: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FUCKING FUCKERY FUCK FUCK RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, I HATE THIS STUPID FUCKING SHIT!!

Aggron

So, what's your favorite Pokémon?

FUCK YOU, NOBODY CARES

BECAUSE IT SURE AS SHIT ISN'T AS AWESOME

AS THIS HERE AGGRON

LOOK AT THIS BAD MOTHERFUCKER

Aggron is basically what you'd get if you put steel-plating on a dinosaur. WHAT TRAINER WOULDN'T WANT A FUCKING STEEL-PLATED DINOSAUR?! Check this shit out: Aggron's not only a steel type, but he's a rock type. Those are like the two most badass types in the game. this nigga's tougher than diamonds. Diamonds are a girl's best friend? FUCK THAT SHIT, give your girl an Aggron for her birthday - she'll suck your dick on the spot, guaranteed.

794 POUNDS OF BRICKSHITTING AMAZEMENT

What does your pokémon cat? Berries? Poffins? Man-made shit from a bowl? AGGRON EATS IRON, BITCH. STRAIGHT FROM THE FUCKING GROUND. Not only that, but he claims an entire mountain as his own and beats down any punk bitches that try to step on his turf. And he'll even fix up his territory by planting trees everywhere and shit. HELL YEAH. SAVE THE EARTH YOU FUCKING HIPPIE!

NOW HOLD ON TO YOUR ASS, CAUSE HERE COMES SOME TECHNICAL SHIT

So Aggron's got this move called head smash. It's pretty much the manliest move ever - he headbutts your weak-ass pokémon at fall force with his fuckawesome steel spikes and shit. The move has 150 base power, Aggron has 110 base attack, and his ability rock head prevents recoil damage. What this means in non-pokefag is that AGGRON WILL FUCK. YOUR. SHIT. BACKWARDS.

What's that? He's too slow? Better watch what you say faggot, cause Aggron just used rock polish and is jettin' around your ass like motherfucking Sonic. But this ain't no faggot ass hedgehog. this is the motherfucking Aggron, ready to kick your ass to hell and back. Think you can exploit Aggron weaknesses? THINK AGAIN, ASSHOLE. Aggron's ready to metal burst your pussy attacks right back at you And as if that wasn't enough badassery to last a lifetime. Aggron can also support the rest of the faggots on his team with shit like thunder wave, roar, stealth rock, fuck I don't even know, All I know is you need to

GET YOURSELF A GODDAMN AGGRON

Zero

Zero is the precise amount of bitches I will obtain.

YOU GET ZERO BITCHES.