poop

Stuff that comes out of your ass. Usually brownish. Sometimes red and yellow. Comes in many types:

The Poop Poop:
Brown. Slithers out of your ass. Not very satisfactory, and not particularly painful. Causes moderate amount of crap left in your ass for you to wipe.

The Quickie Dirty Poop:
This poop bolts out of your ass like a rocket. It doesn't hurt. However, you have lots to wipe, as the inside of your ass will look like a rusty factory if you were to look inside.

The Quickie Happy Poop:
Bolts out of your ass. Clean. Painless. A welcome from the annoying "Winnie The Poop"

Winnie the Poop:
Moves a bit. Once your hopes get up, it gets stuck and refuses to move an inch. You will have to push like hell until Pooh comes out. Usually a sort of constipation.

The Alamo Poop:
You push and push. Similar to Winnie the Poop. Once this poop comes out, you see a small pebble. Thats when a stream of red hot diarrhea comes flaring out. Usually means you are beginning to get diarrhea.

The Russian Poop: (AKA Diarrhea)
You crap, and crap, and crap some more. It will not stop coming. The best idea is to keep pushing, and flush every five minutes. It will end eventually. This poop is really painful, and your ass will ache for a couple days because of all the wiping.

The Peek-A-Boo Poop:
You will crap. This poop will land in the water, and would appear to go down the hole. It will then constantly return to the surface to annoy you. Flush quickly when its at the top, or the poop will just slip back once you flush.

The Ghost Poop:
You will feel the crap crawling out, but you see nothing in the toilet. Sometimes a varient of the Peek-A-Boo poop.

The Gassy Max:
You will think its just a fart, but suddenly, a wet, smelly poop will appear. Generally comes a bit before Diarrhea.

The Professianal Poop (AKA the American Poop)
The moment your ass hits the toilet seat, this poop will flare out of ass. It is painful. It is not Diarrhea. It simply hurts, and not much comes out. Brace until its gone.

The Friendly poop:
Comes out of your ass easily. Feels good, and is pretty clean. This is the dream poop.

The Titanic poop:
A massive poop. Sometimes called a Lincoln Log. Push it out and gasp at its size.

The Giant poop:
A huge poop. Bigger then life. Hope for the best. If you are unlucky, this will rupture your bowels and kill you. If you are lucky, this will create a huge poop. Don't flush, bring all of your buddies over to gape and gasp at its size. Take pictures. You might have made a world record.

"I just took a poop today"
"Poop is brown, mushy, and sometimes looks like a banana."

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