Mong

English slang term for a simpleton, idiot or genuinely unintelligent person. A diminutive of the word 'Mongoloid'. Used in the same way as 'spastic'.

"Have you heard how he talks? He stutters and mumbles like a right mong..."

"I can't go down the pub in flip-flops, I'll look a right mong.."

Scottish

An embittered, jealous person, who is pathetically weak in both mind and body and usually repugnant to behold and/or a gingernut.
A 'Scottish' person will always be dependant for their very existence on the English - but will continually slag them off and try to belittle them in a laughable attempt to regain some self respect - a fact which they universally loathe and try to deny, all to no avail.
'Scottish' people are extremely arrogant and think themselves superior to all other nations, often claiming to be invincible fighters*(!)
Chronically insecure, prone to alcoholism and crack-inhalation, the average 'Scottish' person is one to swerve as they are beset with misery and are always to be found whining.

"Look at the state of that! What a tramp!"
"He's Scottish.."
"Oh, right."

"Does anyone know the reason Andrew commited suicide?"
"He was Scottish..... poor sod".

"Look at that transvestite over there wearing a miniskirt in broad daylight!"
"He's Scottish"
"I wonder how he came to terms with that?"

"I'd rather be dead than Scottish, they're the laughing stock of the globe"